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February 4th, 2005
05:29 am
Well, Well, Well...
I know that it has been a long time since I have updated. And wow, life is wow. I have lived the total life of a hermit lately. I have stayed locked up safe in apartment with Master. I needed a long time to figure things out and I am digging myself out of my hole. Yes, Taran is a new person. I dont want to get all crazy on everyone and outline every single resolution that has evolved with the new me. I will Just state that I have changed.
I have made a major decision. In a few weeks I move closer into town, ((Oh the good phone reseption... *Joygasim*)) Yes, I will remove myself from the mountain folk and join all yall city people. I love my apartment, but gosh goody goodness in a handbag it is nowhere, literally. From there I plan to stay for three months then move again... This time to Chicago.
Alot has weighed into my decision and my choice is final. Come June, Taran has left the city.
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P.S. I have a new live jounral that I have had for a while, if you want to have me as a friend *puppy dog eyes* then add DearZora to your buddy list.
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P.S.S. *Sings Happy Birthday to self*... God, that sounded sadder than a one legged kickboxer.
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November 22nd, 2004
03:43 am
THAT MOTHERFUCKING BITCH. I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER> THE FUCKING CUNT ASSHOLE SLUT PEICE-OF-SHIT. *breathes* Well, it looks like I will not be returning to the UofA next year.
For one of the first times in my life I am speechless. THAT BITCH. Ok, not speechless anymore. My wonderful Mother cut college, and well… me. Cant you just feel the love. All because im gay. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!! Its not like I went on a mass killing spree, although I feel like going on one now.
I feel too sick to sleep. But I just want to hide under the covers. THAT BITCH BITCH BITCH. I just cant think straight right now. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.
The Moral of the Story is,
life sucks.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/sick_sy.gif) sick
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October 12th, 2004
12:07 am
Well, for the past week guys in a neighboring apartment have been practicing martial arts in the green outside my apartment. Oh, the homo-eroticism, of seeing straight frat boys crawling all over each other topless… I love life.
Besides that I am highly looking forward to the Victorian game this weekend. This is my makeshift Halloween. Seeing that my actual Oct 31 will be spent doing a certain musical. So seeing as this is the extent of my dim holiday, I am going to enjoy it to the fullest.
Now back to my Family Guy marathon
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October 9th, 2004
04:55 am - Words can not say...
So begins another great weekend.
As always, things don’t always go as planned; a small clause that you forget when signing the contract of life. You can either deal with the changes or be smothered in eternal self-remorse. Myself… I choose to change, ((Added to the fact that it’s easy for an Aquarius.))
Tonight for example I was planning on going to Rocky as an out of town cast was visiting, ((What can I say, any reason to go drag…)) Instead I heard that Heather had thrown her back, ((probably due to too much high heels, (even I don’t wear them daily,) bad posture, (which I will help her on,) and sleeping balled up like a fox. ((I love you Heather…)).)) So it was nurse Taran to the rescue; with some tacos and a smile. ((The night was a blast. I decided to be nice for a change and not constantly bombard my favorite couple with my usual devious one liners and cracks at their flaws… It was HARD!!! Not five minutes into my vow of pleasantry, and Sunshine had to lend Heather his tampons, and Quasimodo visited the living room. I never realized that being good was so difficult…))
((A little forewarning, if you dont want to hear a spiritual rant then put your hands over your eyes, or scroll to the next person on your friends list.))
Besides my smile and Mexican food I also brought a movie. A new movie that has recently been added among my favorites, entitled Saved. This Christian parody is hilarious and I would recommend it in a heart beat. Maybe a reason that I love this movie so much is because it REALLY reminds me of my debut to the world of gay, within the confines of sweet tea and sour rednecks. It captured the very spirit of my coming out and displayed it to the world to see; everything from the religious best friends, to the prayer circle for my fornicating ways. ((What fortification I would like to know…))
After coming out I was bitter. ((No really!!!)) I took out my aggression coming from all the directions I saw it coming from. By way of my family whom have never fully accepted my homo self. To the friends that found if I couldn’t be straight for Jesus then they couldn’t be friends for me. Finally I know that I took out a lot of my anger on God. All throughout high school I became anti-Christian. I refused to go to church, pray during school events, ((I love the South…)) and any other reminisce or spirituality I retained. This didn’t mean that my morals had dissipated. ((Heck no, I’m still a stupidly sweet virgin.)) I just stopped thumping my Bible. When I finally got out of the South and into Tucson, things changed. I entered on my own, and finally was able to be flamboyantly fabulous.
Its only now, looking back, that I realized that I was wrong. It wasn’t Jesus that turned his back on me, it was the narrow-minded and bigots that had done so. As I said before, things don’t always go as planned. I have stared to welcome back the spirituality that has been missing in my life. ((In all reality I REALLY feel like Annelle from Steel Magnolias, (it’s a Southern thing...) I can easily relate to her character's development. "I went wild, I was drinking, smoking, a true jezebel, but Trudy helped me find the error of my ways." I understand that in all reality that I never went “wild” by society standards but to me I was out of control. I know, I know I’m a prude ;p. ((I also know what you all are thinking, with most of my fiends being anti-Christian, Pagan, Atheist, Agnostic, and all other walks of supernatural life.)).)) But, I will never go back to the way it was; a mindless bible thumping drone out to spread the life and words of Jesus. That chapter in my life is dead, and now I’m entering a new one. ((Fortunately, during my downtime I still didn’t divulge myself in sin, maybe except cross dressing, but where in the commandments is it denounced? I am a weird gay, and I am a weird Christian, life goes on.))
Last night was the first time in five years that I prayed. It really does not seen like five years but it has been, ((by gosh, in getting old…)) I don’t know where this is taking me, but I guess that I will go with the divine flow. Don’t worry people; I will still be good old Taran. I will still squeak and cross dress. This is my choice, and I am the one making it. I fully respect all religions and am well versed in many of them, but I made my choice. Now just to find the right balance, now that’s the trick.
I think that is enough religious talk for one post. As for me I am on to bed and cant wait to see what tomorrow brings me; hopefully the man of my dreams but I would settle for a chilidog… Night y’all, and sleep well as most of you are at the moment, tootles.
The moral of the story is,
Things don’t always go as planned
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October 5th, 2004
12:01 am - A Thought before Christams
As I am sitting here I am watching one of my favorite movies, The Nightmare before Christmas. Although I don’t need a reason, I am preparing for the upcoming season of which I thrive, Halloween.
The grand kick off for this hallowed season started at Nightfall. It is a local event every October, at a reconstruction of an old desert town, which they festively dress up in dreaded glee. I went with my Sunshine and Heather. Naturally we were adorned in black and eyeliner. Unfortunately we were the only ones that were. How sad. We had a great moment though, all night people kept on mistaking us for employs. The three of us were walking along then we heard from behind us, “hey you, excuse me, people in uniform… where is the asylum?” It was fun, I can’t wait to do it again. Even the staff complemented our outfits. ((This coming from a chick in neon yellow and black fishnets…))
The events and attractions were a blast. The singing-dancing dominatrixes were amazing. They made me proud. The gargoyles and singing mariachi skeletons were hilarious. Then there was the worst musical ever created, which I enjoyed greatly.
This was defiantly the perfect way to launch the season off. I LOVE Halloween. Regrettably I will miss it his year. One word, Hairspray. In order to get into cast, I had to devote to all of the shows, even on the best holiday of the year. Small price to pay to be a part of the musical that has deeply impacted my life… I know it sounds strange but I may tell the story another night, but for now I am off to bed.
The moral of the story is,
Why sit in the bleachers timid and afraid, when sugar you can be your own parade
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/pensive_sy.gif) contemplative
Current Music: Movie-The Nightmare before Christams
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October 4th, 2004
02:00 am - Blah
Well, life has been going on for a while now and nothing that important to write. The past few weeks I have defiantly been in a funk. Not a great place to be in. Lots of changes in my life and so far I have tried to embrace it all. Unfortunately, it may not have been the brightest idea.
Since I left Atlanta I have tried to fight against everything that personified family, my old morals, and everything else under the moon. I feel like I have tried too hard to break away from everything that I left behind, leaving me unbalanced. I know it’s a strange time to acquire an identity crisis, and I do acknowledge that it’s a bit melodramatic. Now I just need to find myself. Stop acting certain ways, for no reason but I am running from things. I am done running, now its time for searching.
((Just some random life notes))
((And one final life note))
I love being right, yet no matter how sweet the victories they always come at a price.
Current Music: TV- Showtime at the Apollo ((dont ask))
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September 29th, 2004
08:48 pm
Nothing really to type at this moment. Just was bored and decided to do a few quizes,
( So, enjoy )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/exhausted_sy.gif) drained
Current Music: Movie- Street Fighter ((guilty pleasure))
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September 28th, 2004
02:01 am
I don’t really have much to say, but its late at night so why not post? Gr. I have been thinking lately, and I really should stop. Unfortunately I have started my Yule scarves that I give as gifts which leaves lots of room for brain pain. I need a break, from school and everything else, which even includes my fun.
Something is not right, and I cant put my toe on it yet. There are always the small things which I try not to sweat, but their not it.
No more thinking for me tonight, I have revisited most of my fundamental beliefs. Everthing from politics to the temperature to keep my apartment.
I feel ill,
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/sad_sy.gif) depressed
Current Music: TV- CNN
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September 23rd, 2004
11:39 pm - The Daily Dose
And the fun keeps on rolling like a boulder over a cow. This weekend is shaping up to be absolutely fantastic. Starting with another Alias marathon, and Kaleido Star kicker. Followed by my choice of parties. enjoyment being laced throughout all of the weekend. Then followed by hours and hours of studying for my three tests next week, ((but lets not think about that.)) Life is grand.
Today I noticed that I live in a desert. I know, I know a little slow on the uptake but what can I say, besides the sun is evil. Another thing I’ve noticed is that I have become a spawn of role playing games. Its like a drug, I started with small hits of Vampire: the Masquerade. Then doses of Psion, and smaller games. I am now overjoyed about the start of the new D&D game, started by Heather. I get to play a Desert Gnome, whose love for tinkering is only matched for his love of…sand? Oh well, more to come on this later.
In retrospect, I have made many bad choices. I know I have. After all, error is human, but I’m still divine. I guess I shall just do what I normally do, bump it up to personal experience and live life to the grandest. I am honestly sorry to anyone that I have hurt, but life must go on. I have acquired great friends, of whom I don’t know what I would do without. ((‘Im sorry if I am being weird, but I just watched Steel Magnolias… and if you have seen it you would understand.))
I guess that is all I wanted to say. So, have a great night, all of you out there in TV land. And don’t forget to eat your vegetables.
The moral of the story is,
Something wicked this way comes
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/singing_sy.gif) chipper
Current Music: Flim- Ella Enchanted
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September 21st, 2004
12:37 am - Chapter 14
The grandness of life just keeps on rolling. I have a new job. It is at the University, I will be a stagehand at Centennial Hall. That’s right; yours truly will get the chance to work on shows coming to the UofA. Do you know what this means, I will get the chance to work on Hairspray. *insert joygasim* So far I have worked a hundred and fifty feet in the air on electronics, and I have not died of falling or electrocution yet… So, I guess my proneness to accidents has taken a holiday. Although, I have received a few bruises in the line of duty. I am already known as the accident prone one on staff… lets see how my reputation builds as my stay lasts. But for now I am in the afterglow of my perfect job.
As for life, it goes, as always. I have been feeling more complete lately than in a long time. No major stories to tell at the moment, although because my life is an open book and constantly being written in, chronicles are pending. Ok, my life is not really a book more like an adventuring epic with its tales, laughs, and sorrows. A new chapter in my life is being written. I haven the foggiest what I am going to call this new chapter yet, but soon it should be titled.
On a side note; I love being right! Unfortunately the things that I am right about are not exactly full of pep. Oh well, life goes and that applies for everybody. Just to recap; I love being right!
The moral of the story is,
All is fair in love and war but, all is unfair in love and video games
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/happy_sy.gif) optimistic
Current Music: Movie- A Knights Tale
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September 20th, 2004
12:45 am - Pop Quiz
First off, this is a questionnaire given to me by my good friend Katt. ((Yeah, for my Katt!!!))
1. Do you think you'll always be a southern belle?
A) Well, this is an interesting question. As you should know, I went to charming school. Although I was already charming before I went, so I like to refer to it as finishing school. This is defiantly where I fell in love with the ideals that we call Belle. Unfortunately, I have been slipping, as of recently, into un-Belleish behaviors… The power that is the South is to far removed for it to radiate its southern glow to me. Leaving a new, still slightly Southern, Taran in its absence. ((But, yes, you can take the gal out of the South, but…you get the rest.))
2. You have finally realized that sex is interesting/something you want... do you still have over 30 bases that must be gone through?
A) Well, yet another fascinating question. As for is sex being interesting/something I want, when has it not? I just have had many epiphanies over the summer that opened my eyes on the world. ((including most things.)) In high school I was not allowed the luxury that is gay, and am only now fully engrossing myself in this new vice. ((Weird story I may elaborate some day…)) As for my bases, they are dead. I will quote my late mentor as saying, “Stop planning like a stupid Aquarius.” So, from now on I will live life when I want, and not founded on when I can steal one base out of 30.
3. What is your favorite type of alcohol? What is one you have yet to try, and you want to?
A) I am a lightweight. And my favorite drink has to still be my Boyfriend Jose Cuervo. Although there are plenty more fish in the sushi bar and I look forward to broadening my horizons, one shot at a time.
4. What was your favorite part(s) of Disneyland/ L.A. in general?
A) The randomness… From the spur of the moment decision to even go to LA, to the sporadic events in the park. If I had to pick one moment it would be running from It’s A Small World and catching Fantasmic where we all smoked and rooted for evil… Wow, my views from childhood have been warped.
5. What is your best memory from childhood? Why?
A) N/A ((But because I still consider myself a child at heart, I will get back to you on this one…))
So, if you would like me, Taran, to quiz you on your life, just comment and leave your name and I will post a questionnaire… Just don’t expect it right away…*wink*
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Watching- The Mummy
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September 6th, 2004
08:14 pm - The Best Weekend...
I have almost never had a weekend as totally awesome as last weekend. It all started with twelve straight hours of Alias. That’s right; Beth and I spent literally half a day screaming, crying, and vicariously enjoying ourselves through the members of SD-6. After what came out to about five hours of sleep we watched three more hours… but we only have one more disk left so the insanity is almost complete. Friday, at the end of my Alias spree I ran around town getting ready to drop a friend, Will, with other friends off in San Francisco. When I get to Katt’s house I find out that the trip is cancelled. So, instead of sitting idly in this desert town we all decide to go to Disneyland. That’s right, this weekend I just had a completely random trip to the happiest place on earth! (((I LOVE YOU KATT!!!))) After out usual trivia we hit the open… And very dark road, at eleven at night. By seven the next morning we entered the City of Angels. We got to our hotel for a quick rest then set out to venture. We managed crisscrossing the city ending up in Hollywood. *joygasim* Not to mention the great sea food restaurant, again on the other side of town, for dinner… I likey a lotty. And guess what, I did what I set out to do, I got to see the ocean. Fixing my saltwater craving for at least another couple of months. After a quick stop in the hotel it was time for Disney. We woke up dreadfully early making our way to the entrance. This was my first time in the Magic Kingdom. ((The West coast version.)) It was an absolute blast. It was a quick random trip, so I didn’t expect to do everything… yet, somehow we managed to do just that. Oh, the wonderful memories that I will take with me. The rides, the shopping, the BEST picture EVER taken at splash mountain, running at the last hour to make rides, the great time with Heather Katt and Will, the scalding heat, the abysmal three smoking sections at the park including the one that oversaw fantasmic, the campy lady at the safari, the Godsend in the form of a squirt bottle with a fan, and the memories go on and on. After the euphoric experience we entered the long trek home in the middle of the night, switching off even though all involved were massively tired, thank you caffine… So here I am back on my wonderful futon, Davenport, unearthly tired and eyeing the shower. I am basking in the afterglow that is this grand weekend. I know I have been saying this a lot but life is good. No, better than that, Life is Grand.
The moral of the story is,
Why walk when you can fly
Current Mood: jubilant
Current Music: Aqua... of course
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September 3rd, 2004
07:45 pm - the weekend
A VERY quick update... I am off to California, although the plan has changed. Whereas before we were planning a utilitarian trip to drop a friend off in San Fran. Us, terribly festive peeps, have decided to go to DisneyLand...
woohoo!
Life is good. So heres to a GREAT weekend!
*hugs* all,
Taran
Current Mood: excited
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10:08 am - Alias Journal #3
Well, the final talley came to eleven straight hours of Alias... Yes, my brain hurts; by the divine essence of Alias... ok... i need a hobby
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12:04 am - Alias Journal #2
Well seven hours in and we are still obsessed with the Alias... *squeal*
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September 2nd, 2004
09:58 pm - Alias jounal #1
A quick update. Me and Beth are on hour number five of our Alias Season 2 marathon... and still going on strong. More on this later... all I am going to day right now is that in all my gayness... i will make one exception, Sydney Bristow...or maybe her mom... or both... dont ask...
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August 31st, 2004
12:55 am - Late night snack and update
I had a wonderful day! Enough said. Felt productive, met new people, met old people, and watched a great movie with friends. Life is good. I have had a new obsession as of late. Yes, that’s right, a new musical. ((Darn you Mici!)) I want my soul back now… Besides all of the small stuff the large stuff is equally going well. Life is good. I feel good. And besides the momentary pauses to review my life, I am not even looking back. No regrets. I just wish that everyone could feel this great when they wake up to when they go to bed…which is only a few minutes away. So, have a great night, gals and guys in T.V land.
The moral of the story is,
Death is the ultimate equalizer; just remember “you can’t take it with you”
Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Theme to the Family Guy
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August 29th, 2004
10:54 pm - One Ball Ends, Another Starts
Hi everyone, here I am in my apartment watching wonderful movies and taking a break from homework… ((Cue flashback scene, covering the past week…)) ( Click Me! )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/mellow_sy.gif) rejuvenated
Current Music: Musicals Galore
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August 26th, 2004
11:28 pm - All washed up
I took four showers today. I know what your thinking, wow what a water hog. Well, it’s the only vice that I have of which Captain Planet would not approve of. One reason for my aqua-fascination is schools back in session, and that equals hours of walking in the sun’s radiant torture. I live in a desert, this is painfully apparent to me between classes as I sweat my way from course to course. Luckily, all of my classes have been enjoyable. A good sign. I kinda missed the pressure of class and drudgery of lessons. I have also re-met with people that I did not keep in touch with during the summer. ((Both the good and the bad…)) Although, having to readjust to walking on campus merits long shower time… the main reason for my merman mannerisms is drastically different. I have been taking showers because I currently have a lot on my mind. *sigh* Showers, as I have repeatedly stated in my posts, help me to think. Thinking, blah, nothing has caused humanity more problems than the T word. I’m just confused at the moment… blarg. I think, and think, yet I can’t figure things out. I know that this problem is minor, at least on the grand scale of life, but for now I am still utterly completely and thoroughly confused.
The moral of the story is,
Shower number five, here I come…
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Theme to an awful B sports movie
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August 17th, 2004
08:17 am - *yawn*
Its what, 8:20 and I am just now getting ready for bed... I'm going to miss the summer. Whereas I am staying up untill 8:00 having fun, durring school I will still be up till 8:00 studying. Oh well, it cant be helped... On a lighter note my great friend Katt got back from Germany today, and we threw her a rousing welcome home celebration. I know what you are thinking, this poor girl just spent 15 hours in a plane, probably dead tired and cranky, why did you throw her a party. The funny thing was that she was the only one awake when the surprise party finally started, due to delays galore. ((Welcome back Katt, Tucson missed you.)) My week looks like a good mixture of what, in retrospect, filled my summer. Hanging out with everyone, going to LARP, and sleeping whenever i get the chance at 8:00 in the morning. So, if its all the same to you, im off to bed. Night yall, and so starts the end of the summer of 04'.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/yellow/sleepy_sy.gif) tired
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