A peach a day, keeps me... gay?

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 12:47:33 GMT

Well, Well, Well...

I know that it has been a long time since I have updated. And wow, life is wow. I have lived the total life of a hermit lately. I have stayed locked up safe in apartment with Master. I needed a long time to figure things out and I am digging myself out of my hole. Yes, Taran is a new person. I dont want to get all crazy on everyone and outline every single resolution that has evolved with the new me. I will Just state that I have changed.

I have made a major decision. In a few weeks I move closer into town, ((Oh the good phone reseption... *Joygasim*)) Yes, I will remove myself from the mountain folk and join all yall city people. I love my apartment, but gosh goody goodness in a handbag it is nowhere, literally. From there I plan to stay for three months then move again... This time to Chicago.

Alot has weighed into my decision and my choice is final. Come June, Taran has left the city.
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P.S. I have a new live jounral that I have had for a while, if you want to have me as a friend *puppy dog eyes* then add DearZora to your buddy list.
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P.S.S. *Sings Happy Birthday to self*... God, that sounded sadder than a one legged kickboxer.

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 10:44:29 GMT

THAT MOTHERFUCKING BITCH. I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER> THE FUCKING CUNT ASSHOLE SLUT PEICE-OF-SHIT. *breathes* Well, it looks like I will not be returning to the UofA next year.

For one of the first times in my life I am speechless. THAT BITCH. Ok, not speechless anymore. My wonderful Mother cut college, and well… me. Cant you just feel the love. All because im gay. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!! Its not like I went on a mass killing spree, although I feel like going on one now.

I feel too sick to sleep. But I just want to hide under the covers. THAT BITCH BITCH BITCH. I just cant think straight right now. FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.

The Moral of the Story is,
life sucks.

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 07:28:03 GMT

Well, for the past week guys in a neighboring apartment have been practicing martial arts in the green outside my apartment. Oh, the homo-eroticism, of seeing straight frat boys crawling all over each other topless… I love life.

Besides that I am highly looking forward to the Victorian game this weekend. This is my makeshift Halloween. Seeing that my actual Oct 31 will be spent doing a certain musical. So seeing as this is the extent of my dim holiday, I am going to enjoy it to the fullest.

Now back to my Family Guy marathon

Words can not say...

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 12:03:00 GMT

So begins another great weekend.

As always, things don’t always go as planned; a small clause that you forget when signing the contract of life. You can either deal with the changes or be smothered in eternal self-remorse. Myself… I choose to change, ((Added to the fact that it’s easy for an Aquarius.))

Tonight for example I was planning on going to Rocky as an out of town cast was visiting, ((What can I say, any reason to go drag…)) Instead I heard that Heather had thrown her back, ((probably due to too much high heels, (even I don’t wear them daily,) bad posture, (which I will help her on,) and sleeping balled up like a fox. ((I love you Heather…)).)) So it was nurse Taran to the rescue; with some tacos and a smile. ((The night was a blast. I decided to be nice for a change and not constantly bombard my favorite couple with my usual devious one liners and cracks at their flaws… It was HARD!!! Not five minutes into my vow of pleasantry, and Sunshine had to lend Heather his tampons, and Quasimodo visited the living room. I never realized that being good was so difficult…))

((A little forewarning, if you dont want to hear a spiritual rant then put your hands over your eyes, or scroll to the next person on your friends list.))

Besides my smile and Mexican food I also brought a movie. A new movie that has recently been added among my favorites, entitled Saved. This Christian parody is hilarious and I would recommend it in a heart beat. Maybe a reason that I love this movie so much is because it REALLY reminds me of my debut to the world of gay, within the confines of sweet tea and sour rednecks. It captured the very spirit of my coming out and displayed it to the world to see; everything from the religious best friends, to the prayer circle for my fornicating ways. ((What fortification I would like to know…))

After coming out I was bitter. ((No really!!!)) I took out my aggression coming from all the directions I saw it coming from. By way of my family whom have never fully accepted my homo self. To the friends that found if I couldn’t be straight for Jesus then they couldn’t be friends for me. Finally I know that I took out a lot of my anger on God. All throughout high school I became anti-Christian. I refused to go to church, pray during school events, ((I love the South…)) and any other reminisce or spirituality I retained. This didn’t mean that my morals had dissipated. ((Heck no, I’m still a stupidly sweet virgin.)) I just stopped thumping my Bible. When I finally got out of the South and into Tucson, things changed. I entered on my own, and finally was able to be flamboyantly fabulous.

Its only now, looking back, that I realized that I was wrong. It wasn’t Jesus that turned his back on me, it was the narrow-minded and bigots that had done so. As I said before, things don’t always go as planned. I have stared to welcome back the spirituality that has been missing in my life. ((In all reality I REALLY feel like Annelle from Steel Magnolias, (it’s a Southern thing...) I can easily relate to her character's development. "I went wild, I was drinking, smoking, a true jezebel, but Trudy helped me find the error of my ways." I understand that in all reality that I never went “wild” by society standards but to me I was out of control. I know, I know I’m a prude ;p. ((I also know what you all are thinking, with most of my fiends being anti-Christian, Pagan, Atheist, Agnostic, and all other walks of supernatural life.)).)) But, I will never go back to the way it was; a mindless bible thumping drone out to spread the life and words of Jesus. That chapter in my life is dead, and now I’m entering a new one. ((Fortunately, during my downtime I still didn’t divulge myself in sin, maybe except cross dressing, but where in the commandments is it denounced? I am a weird gay, and I am a weird Christian, life goes on.))

Last night was the first time in five years that I prayed. It really does not seen like five years but it has been, ((by gosh, in getting old…)) I don’t know where this is taking me, but I guess that I will go with the divine flow. Don’t worry people; I will still be good old Taran. I will still squeak and cross dress. This is my choice, and I am the one making it. I fully respect all religions and am well versed in many of them, but I made my choice. Now just to find the right balance, now that’s the trick.

I think that is enough religious talk for one post. As for me I am on to bed and cant wait to see what tomorrow brings me; hopefully the man of my dreams but I would settle for a chilidog… Night y’all, and sleep well as most of you are at the moment, tootles.

The moral of the story is,
Things don’t always go as planned

A Thought before Christams

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 07:01:58 GMT

As I am sitting here I am watching one of my favorite movies, The Nightmare before Christmas. Although I don’t need a reason, I am preparing for the upcoming season of which I thrive, Halloween.

The grand kick off for this hallowed season started at Nightfall. It is a local event every October, at a reconstruction of an old desert town, which they festively dress up in dreaded glee. I went with my Sunshine and Heather. Naturally we were adorned in black and eyeliner. Unfortunately we were the only ones that were. How sad. We had a great moment though, all night people kept on mistaking us for employs. The three of us were walking along then we heard from behind us, “hey you, excuse me, people in uniform… where is the asylum?” It was fun, I can’t wait to do it again. Even the staff complemented our outfits. ((This coming from a chick in neon yellow and black fishnets…))

The events and attractions were a blast. The singing-dancing dominatrixes were amazing. They made me proud. The gargoyles and singing mariachi skeletons were hilarious. Then there was the worst musical ever created, which I enjoyed greatly.

This was defiantly the perfect way to launch the season off. I LOVE Halloween. Regrettably I will miss it his year. One word, Hairspray. In order to get into cast, I had to devote to all of the shows, even on the best holiday of the year. Small price to pay to be a part of the musical that has deeply impacted my life… I know it sounds strange but I may tell the story another night, but for now I am off to bed.

The moral of the story is,
Why sit in the bleachers timid and afraid, when sugar you can be your own parade

Blah

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 09:03:09 GMT

Well, life has been going on for a while now and nothing that important to write. The past few weeks I have defiantly been in a funk. Not a great place to be in. Lots of changes in my life and so far I have tried to embrace it all. Unfortunately, it may not have been the brightest idea.

Since I left Atlanta I have tried to fight against everything that personified family, my old morals, and everything else under the moon. I feel like I have tried too hard to break away from everything that I left behind, leaving me unbalanced. I know it’s a strange time to acquire an identity crisis, and I do acknowledge that it’s a bit melodramatic. Now I just need to find myself. Stop acting certain ways, for no reason but I am running from things. I am done running, now its time for searching.

((Just some random life notes))

((And one final life note))

I love being right, yet no matter how sweet the victories they always come at a price.

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 03:55:39 GMT

Nothing really to type at this moment. Just was bored and decided to do a few quizes,

Which cult classic badass are you? by rook901
Name/Username
Sex
Favorite Eating Utensil
You are:

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I knew I was a lesbo in hiding... but at least i can kick your butts

Cabaret

What Broadway Musical Do You Belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla
One of my favorite musicals...ill take it

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	delicious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	sparkle like the stars
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	everlasting

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Well, no complaints here

What would your Anime life be like? by hearthlight
Name:
Gender:
Your looks:	Ethereal beauty.
Your best friend:	Someone no one else can see.
Your powers:	Energy blasts.
Your beloved:	A sexy vampire.
Your occupation:	Warrior for good.
Your ending:	Confusing.

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Yahoo for sexy vampires...

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 09:09:18 GMT

I don’t really have much to say, but its late at night so why not post? Gr. I have been thinking lately, and I really should stop. Unfortunately I have started my Yule scarves that I give as gifts which leaves lots of room for brain pain. I need a break, from school and everything else, which even includes my fun.

Something is not right, and I cant put my toe on it yet. There are always the small things which I try not to sweat, but their not it.

No more thinking for me tonight, I have revisited most of my fundamental beliefs. Everthing from politics to the temperature to keep my apartment.

I feel ill,

The Daily Dose

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 06:40:35 GMT

And the fun keeps on rolling like a boulder over a cow. This weekend is shaping up to be absolutely fantastic. Starting with another Alias marathon, and Kaleido Star kicker. Followed by my choice of parties. enjoyment being laced throughout all of the weekend. Then followed by hours and hours of studying for my three tests next week, ((but lets not think about that.)) Life is grand.

Today I noticed that I live in a desert. I know, I know a little slow on the uptake but what can I say, besides the sun is evil. Another thing I’ve noticed is that I have become a spawn of role playing games. Its like a drug, I started with small hits of Vampire: the Masquerade. Then doses of Psion, and smaller games. I am now overjoyed about the start of the new D&D game, started by Heather. I get to play a Desert Gnome, whose love for tinkering is only matched for his love of…sand? Oh well, more to come on this later.

In retrospect, I have made many bad choices. I know I have. After all, error is human, but I’m still divine. I guess I shall just do what I normally do, bump it up to personal experience and live life to the grandest. I am honestly sorry to anyone that I have hurt, but life must go on. I have acquired great friends, of whom I don’t know what I would do without. ((‘Im sorry if I am being weird, but I just watched Steel Magnolias… and if you have seen it you would understand.))

I guess that is all I wanted to say. So, have a great night, all of you out there in TV land. And don’t forget to eat your vegetables.

The moral of the story is,
Something wicked this way comes

Chapter 14

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 07:37:50 GMT

The grandness of life just keeps on rolling. I have a new job. It is at the University, I will be a stagehand at Centennial Hall. That’s right; yours truly will get the chance to work on shows coming to the UofA. Do you know what this means, I will get the chance to work on Hairspray. *insert joygasim* So far I have worked a hundred and fifty feet in the air on electronics, and I have not died of falling or electrocution yet… So, I guess my proneness to accidents has taken a holiday. Although, I have received a few bruises in the line of duty. I am already known as the accident prone one on staff… lets see how my reputation builds as my stay lasts. But for now I am in the afterglow of my perfect job.

As for life, it goes, as always. I have been feeling more complete lately than in a long time. No major stories to tell at the moment, although because my life is an open book and constantly being written in, chronicles are pending. Ok, my life is not really a book more like an adventuring epic with its tales, laughs, and sorrows. A new chapter in my life is being written. I haven the foggiest what I am going to call this new chapter yet, but soon it should be titled.

On a side note; I love being right! Unfortunately the things that I am right about are not exactly full of pep. Oh well, life goes and that applies for everybody. Just to recap; I love being right!

The moral of the story is,
All is fair in love and war but, all is unfair in love and video games

Pop Quiz

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 08:10:47 GMT

First off, this is a questionnaire given to me by my good friend Katt. ((Yeah, for my Katt!!!))

1. Do you think you'll always be a southern belle?
A) Well, this is an interesting question. As you should know, I went to charming school. Although I was already charming before I went, so I like to refer to it as finishing school. This is defiantly where I fell in love with the ideals that we call Belle. Unfortunately, I have been slipping, as of recently, into un-Belleish behaviors… The power that is the South is to far removed for it to radiate its southern glow to me. Leaving a new, still slightly Southern, Taran in its absence. ((But, yes, you can take the gal out of the South, but…you get the rest.))
2. You have finally realized that sex is interesting/something you want... do you still have over 30 bases that must be gone through?
A) Well, yet another fascinating question. As for is sex being interesting/something I want, when has it not? I just have had many epiphanies over the summer that opened my eyes on the world. ((including most things.)) In high school I was not allowed the luxury that is gay, and am only now fully engrossing myself in this new vice. ((Weird story I may elaborate some day…)) As for my bases, they are dead. I will quote my late mentor as saying, “Stop planning like a stupid Aquarius.” So, from now on I will live life when I want, and not founded on when I can steal one base out of 30.
3. What is your favorite type of alcohol? What is one you have yet to try, and you want to?
A) I am a lightweight. And my favorite drink has to still be my Boyfriend Jose Cuervo. Although there are plenty more fish in the sushi bar and I look forward to broadening my horizons, one shot at a time.
4. What was your favorite part(s) of Disneyland/ L.A. in general?
A) The randomness… From the spur of the moment decision to even go to LA, to the sporadic events in the park. If I had to pick one moment it would be running from It’s A Small World and catching Fantasmic where we all smoked and rooted for evil… Wow, my views from childhood have been warped.
5. What is your best memory from childhood? Why?
A) N/A ((But because I still consider myself a child at heart, I will get back to you on this one…))

So, if you would like me, Taran, to quiz you on your life, just comment and leave your name and I will post a questionnaire… Just don’t expect it right away…*wink*

The Best Weekend...

Tue, 07 Sep 2004 03:16:21 GMT

I have almost never had a weekend as totally awesome as last weekend. It all started with twelve straight hours of Alias. That’s right; Beth and I spent literally half a day screaming, crying, and vicariously enjoying ourselves through the members of SD-6. After what came out to about five hours of sleep we watched three more hours… but we only have one more disk left so the insanity is almost complete. Friday, at the end of my Alias spree I ran around town getting ready to drop a friend, Will, with other friends off in San Francisco. When I get to Katt’s house I find out that the trip is cancelled. So, instead of sitting idly in this desert town we all decide to go to Disneyland. That’s right, this weekend I just had a completely random trip to the happiest place on earth! (((I LOVE YOU KATT!!!))) After out usual trivia we hit the open… And very dark road, at eleven at night. By seven the next morning we entered the City of Angels. We got to our hotel for a quick rest then set out to venture. We managed crisscrossing the city ending up in Hollywood. *joygasim* Not to mention the great sea food restaurant, again on the other side of town, for dinner… I likey a lotty. And guess what, I did what I set out to do, I got to see the ocean. Fixing my saltwater craving for at least another couple of months. After a quick stop in the hotel it was time for Disney. We woke up dreadfully early making our way to the entrance. This was my first time in the Magic Kingdom. ((The West coast version.)) It was an absolute blast. It was a quick random trip, so I didn’t expect to do everything… yet, somehow we managed to do just that. Oh, the wonderful memories that I will take with me. The rides, the shopping, the BEST picture EVER taken at splash mountain, running at the last hour to make rides, the great time with Heather Katt and Will, the scalding heat, the abysmal three smoking sections at the park including the one that oversaw fantasmic, the campy lady at the safari, the Godsend in the form of a squirt bottle with a fan, and the memories go on and on. After the euphoric experience we entered the long trek home in the middle of the night, switching off even though all involved were massively tired, thank you caffine… So here I am back on my wonderful futon, Davenport, unearthly tired and eyeing the shower. I am basking in the afterglow that is this grand weekend. I know I have been saying this a lot but life is good. No, better than that, Life is Grand.

The moral of the story is,
Why walk when you can fly

the weekend

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 02:48:26 GMT

A VERY quick update... I am off to California, although the plan has changed. Whereas before we were planning a utilitarian trip to drop a friend off in San Fran. Us, terribly festive peeps, have decided to go to DisneyLand...

woohoo!

Life is good. So heres to a GREAT weekend!

*hugs* all,
Taran

Alias Journal #3

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 17:10:06 GMT

Well, the final talley came to eleven straight hours of Alias... Yes, my brain hurts; by the divine essence of Alias... ok... i need a hobby

Alias Journal #2

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 07:04:35 GMT

Well seven hours in and we are still obsessed with the Alias... *squeal*

Alias jounal #1

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 05:03:30 GMT

A quick update. Me and Beth are on hour number five of our Alias Season 2 marathon... and still going on strong. More on this later... all I am going to day right now is that in all my gayness... i will make one exception, Sydney Bristow...or maybe her mom... or both... dont ask...

Late night snack and update

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 08:09:29 GMT

I had a wonderful day! Enough said. Felt productive, met new people, met old people, and watched a great movie with friends. Life is good. I have had a new obsession as of late. Yes, that’s right, a new musical. ((Darn you Mici!)) I want my soul back now… Besides all of the small stuff the large stuff is equally going well. Life is good. I feel good. And besides the momentary pauses to review my life, I am not even looking back. No regrets. I just wish that everyone could feel this great when they wake up to when they go to bed…which is only a few minutes away. So, have a great night, gals and guys in T.V land.

The moral of the story is,
Death is the ultimate equalizer; just remember “you can’t take it with you”

One Ball Ends, Another Starts

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 05:57:53 GMT

Hi everyone, here I am in my apartment watching wonderful movies and taking a break from homework… ((Cue flashback scene, covering the past week…))

This was the first week of school. ((Oh joy…)) My classes have, so far, been very enjoyable. I managed to sign up for all courses that the Taraninator would find fun. Unfortunately, between my classes this week I have been running around doing back to school errands. By weeks end I needed a break.

Friday was girl’s night out. My friend Mici and I indulged our lust of the 80’s and rented a hodgepodge of retro films, including Sixteen Candles and the Breakfast Club. Yes, this weekend Molly Ringwald was queen! It was through this reintroduction to these movies, which I have not seen for quite some time, that I realized how totally deranged the 80’s were. Sixteen Candles, for example, is filled with sex drugs and all other forms of social taboos, yet this is a PG movie… and the best PG rated movie EVER!!!

The next day, Saturday, was a wholesome get together at my great friend Katt’s. It was filled with people, games, and fun. No one can throw a swell shindig like Katt, whose home is jam packed with groovy energy that could rival the Gods on Olympus. In fact the party was simply a Roman extravaganza, on a Herculean scale, which could put the likes of Caesar and Caligula to shame…

((End flash back))

So, here I am back on my futon, which I have recently named Davenport, looking through retrospect at my life as of present. Yes, this summer was a humdinger. It was filled with my Impending Balls of Doom, ((Yes, those dreaded events which were prophesized to affect the lives in Tucson…)) Luckily, the very last Ball just dropped, and instead of feeling sad or lonely, I have embraced the present and what I do have. I am having fun. I am in a great city, ((which I question sometimes,)) I have so many MATURE friends, something that I neglected to bother with until now. I have made a lasting pact with myself. I am DONE with people, not all people, just certain ones. The ones whom are not there for me, whose personal flaws blemish any attempt at friendship or more. Basically, I am DONE with IMMATURITY. I am not perfect, nor close to it. I am just Taran. ((Aka, the Taraninator…)) I have changed during this summer, and hopefully for the better. I can feel the change, and I like it. I have felt better than I have in months. The summer has been a crazy cocoon of kookiness, but I have at last emerged from my hibernation.

Does this mean that my changing is complete? Heck no ((insert Minnesotan accent…)) I just hope it won’t be as awkward as this summer, but if it is, I am ready. I have dropped two people, because of their immaturity, and this number could very well go up. At the start of the summer this thought would scare the crap out of me, but now… I know that there are more fish in the sushi bar. Better, great people that I can’t wait to meet to add to the already wonderful people that I know, and love.

Sex. Yes that three letter taboo word. I am still a virgin. No, I am not as pure as I used to be. Such in the case of this weekend; Alas, I am a lady, and we never kiss and tell… So, I will not be telling you a lot… All I will say is that life is good, and I plan on enjoying it to the fullest.

That’s about it for now. Life goes on. And, for the first time in a long time, I feel great. The summer of dread, and Impending Balls of Doom, is over; now its time to make life grand, an extravagant Ball. Now, I am going to do homework, then watch a movie while eating Oreos; getting to finally rest after a wonderfully long weekend. ((Here is hoping for many, many more…just maybe toned down…just a bit…but not TOO much…*grin*))

((Side note)) Next weekend I will be out of town, that’s right. I’m pulling out my luggage, and travel cloths and am hitting the road. San Francisco here I come!

The moral of the story is,
Have you ever had that dream where you are in front of a crowd naked…

All washed up

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 06:57:29 GMT

I took four showers today. I know what your thinking, wow what a water hog. Well, it’s the only vice that I have of which Captain Planet would not approve of. One reason for my aqua-fascination is schools back in session, and that equals hours of walking in the sun’s radiant torture. I live in a desert, this is painfully apparent to me between classes as I sweat my way from course to course. Luckily, all of my classes have been enjoyable. A good sign. I kinda missed the pressure of class and drudgery of lessons. I have also re-met with people that I did not keep in touch with during the summer. ((Both the good and the bad…)) Although, having to readjust to walking on campus merits long shower time… the main reason for my merman mannerisms is drastically different. I have been taking showers because I currently have a lot on my mind. *sigh* Showers, as I have repeatedly stated in my posts, help me to think. Thinking, blah, nothing has caused humanity more problems than the T word. I’m just confused at the moment… blarg. I think, and think, yet I can’t figure things out. I know that this problem is minor, at least on the grand scale of life, but for now I am still utterly completely and thoroughly confused.

The moral of the story is,
Shower number five, here I come…

yawn

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 15:25:50 GMT

Its what, 8:20 and I am just now getting ready for bed... I'm going to miss the summer. Whereas I am staying up untill 8:00 having fun, durring school I will still be up till 8:00 studying. Oh well, it cant be helped... On a lighter note my great friend Katt got back from Germany today, and we threw her a rousing welcome home celebration. I know what you are thinking, this poor girl just spent 15 hours in a plane, probably dead tired and cranky, why did you throw her a party. The funny thing was that she was the only one awake when the surprise party finally started, due to delays galore. ((Welcome back Katt, Tucson missed you.)) My week looks like a good mixture of what, in retrospect, filled my summer. Hanging out with everyone, going to LARP, and sleeping whenever i get the chance at 8:00 in the morning. So, if its all the same to you, im off to bed. Night yall, and so starts the end of the summer of 04'.

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 11:23:11 GMT

Well, im back in town...woohoo. It was a long trip and which i do not wish to repeat again. Besides all that, life in Tuscon is nice and getting back to normal. ((Thank you little dust bowls.)) Managing to ready myself for the upcoming school year. Getting the wild jungle of my apartment tamed, and color coordinated. and just more life in general. Now, as a final note. I am tired. not as in sleepy but in general. I rarely, and i have always prided myself on this, allow myself to be fatigued by the drone of life, unfortunately life is a bit unorderly at the moment. When i get tired of it all, that means that things are bad. blah. I know i know, a short post. I just got my internet fixed, and now im too tired to play with my refound toy. Time for bed and lota thinking...

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 06:09:15 GMT

Hey yall,

Still only have a bit to type… very uneventful day… except for family game night. (You can shoot me now God, I get your message…) I also found out the rest of my trip, soon I will travel south to help my parents move and will be without internet and therefore completely out of contact with the outside world, well at least the good part of the world.

Very little joy in my life, as of present. Without cell phone, television, or sanity this trip has gone sour. I have managed to keep up on reading… a lot. I also, with my sister’s help, did manage to convince my mother to let me see the Village. I loved it, but more on that when I have more time.

I’m finally feeling less sick. (It’s the small things right?) Besides that, I am fine, well at least hanging in there. When I get to Atlanta I have two days without the horrors of parents and will be babysitting my sis. If you want me to call you please email me your #, my digital rolodex has been taken away from me. Email me at Taranpeace@yahoo.com. I will try my hardest to get in touch with anyone.

Talk to you all soon

Taran

Click your heels

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 06:32:04 GMT

Hideho people,

I can only talk for a bit so,

Long story short I am in Ohio with my family, and only one day in it’s already hell. The trip itself was dreadful. My flight left at six in the morning, meaning I only had to stay awake two extra hours after rocky and travel to the airport. Not exactly fun. Besides this I have been sick for the past two days and felt awful the entire trip, not allowing me to sleep.

By the time I got to Ohio I was tired, ill, and cranky. My Father and Sister picked me up where they drove me home, where a family reunion for the Ohio branch of my family had already started. I walked in and my mother immediately commented on my hair, in a snide remark. (It’s too long she says…) We are in the garage, and she starts her ranting session. Then I did something unlike myself, I had a completely rude retort. “Mommy, I have been traveling all morning, I am sick, tired, and hungry, can you please save your bitching for later?” If I could bottle her look, I would have the most potent poison ever concocted. From that point out she stared daggers at me, luckily family was over to act as a barrier from my evil mom. (Anything done in front of them would have been completely unsouthern…)

We all left to go to a restaurant, where we got our own private room and our own private waiter, Chris. Ok fine, yes, I was hitting on the waiter, but he started it. He walked in with these creamy blue eyes and rich southern accent, and best of all he was gay. (Go gaygoggles) At that point, Chris and I played the southern game of subtle courtship.

It’s all in the glances, and the way you ignore someone. How you eat food and how you serve it. The way when he pours your drink he moves in close and lingers just for that extra moment, managing to intimately whisper in your ear. I haven’t flirted the southern way in a long time, and granted I am a bit out of practice…I accidentally tripped Chris and our plates of calamari fell to the ground. It was at that point that my mom, probably by pure chance noticed, from across the room, that our hands were bumping a little too much while picking up the calamari and making face contact a little too often; having our eyes linger for just the right amount of time. My mom may be a bitch but she’s not stupid.

Right before leaving, I “accidentally” bumped into him on my way to the bathroom. Good news he actually wanted a date. Bad News, I’m not a local and my mother is psycho.

When I got back to the house, after all of my family left, the rumble began. Without foresight, I left my cell phone on the main kitchen’s counter, which she managed to commandeer from me as punishment. Although my mom mentioned NOTHING about Chris, whom is sweet and cute, (I hate life sometimes…) She danced around the subject flawlessly, leaving me under house arrest. I am not allowed to use the phone, go out, (Which its not like I know ANYBODY in this stupid city, (except for one cute waiter.),) and use the internet, (I am currently breaking the rules as it is 2:20 in the morning and I have felt the need to update everyone…)

This all means that for the next two weeks, I am going to be out of contact from everyone. I want to thank all those people who offered an ear on this trip, but I won’t be able to talk. I am stuck in the North for a few days until I drive to Atlanta with my family in separate cares, (thank God for small miracles.) Its going to be two weeks of absolute hell…

The moral of the story is,
Be it ever so humble…

(PS) Mer and Beth, can either of you call Heather to fill her in a bit, she still does not have internet, thank you!

(PSS) I’m sorry the post is so short and void of many details and imagery, but I just can’t get caught online… I don’t know when the next time I will be on will be, but I seriously doubt that it will be before the two weeks are up…

Pooka

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 05:47:04 GMT

I woke up this morning…as usual. Also, as usual, I went to the porch after a shower to read a book and let my hair dry in the natural desert heat. About two chapters in I heard a loud guttural noise. I got up and peered over the edge to witness three overgrown javelinas gutting a trash can. I dunno, but the sight of garbage, candy wrappers, empty boxes, and discarded cans littering the grass while being ravaged by those piggys was a beautiful sight indeed. But I may just be a bit odd.

That was a start to a day, which has lasted until… well… now. I have since studied extensively for my final tomorrow. Which I am not really worried about. Other than that my life has been rather boring. I have kept up on Big Brother, ((of course…)) So over all just a boring non eventful day, and the usual dilemma de jour…((of course…))

Now for a small story,

Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away, let’s say New Mexico. There lived a short man with only one eye. This short man with only one eye was named Bubba, after his mother. Now Bubba was a not the brightest crayon in the shed but he did have excellent hearing. One day Bubba and a few friends decided to go on an adventure. They traveled miles over the searing desert where they made there way to Carlsbad Caverns. They descended into the caverns with hopeful hearts that they would see bats and stalagmites, or maybe a surprise performance by Britney Spears. They descended down, and down, and yes down farther. The view was incredible with huge cathedral like majesty, opening up to violent chasms. On the way they were joined by a ghastly tour guide that resembled one of the spice girls on crack. This ghoulish guide told them a fable about an ancient native curse put on the caverns long ago; in the form of a Pooka. After about two hours of traveling in there underground tomb the travelers finally got to the bottom of the cavern where the lights went out. Just before the blackness ensued, Bubba saw something with his one eye, just a white blur rushing past. When he brought it up to his friends they called him a fool. The group slowly made their way back towards the beginning of the cavern. While ascending Bubba’s daydream about clam chowder was cut short when he heard a scream from the freakish tour guide whom had suddenly gone silent. They fumbled around in the dark to find her but she had disappeared. They continued on in the darkness where slowly Bubba would hear a scream and then silence from one of his friends; before long Bubba was all alone. Blindly he made his way up the path. Then he heard something, with his augmented hearing. It sounded like a white six foot overgrown rabbit, sporting huge incisors and big floppy feet; with the fresh smell of blood on its breath. ((Like I said, he had very acute hearing.)) Bubba thought he was crazy and kept on walking in the dark trying his hardest to ignore the ominous Pooka lurking unseen. Just before the mammoth rabbit could pounce on a listening Bubba, he jumped out of the way; as the Pooka tripped and fell all the way to the bottom of the caverns. Before long Bubba was back in the light and was safe, and he still had one eye, and excellent hearing.

The moral of the odd story is,
Never suppress, ignore, or abuse your abilities … otherwise you will get attacked by a six foot rabbit sporting huge incisors and big floppy feet; with the fresh smell of blood on its breath

Fourth of July

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 02:30:59 GMT

Last weekend was the Fourth of July. You know what that means… friends, fireworks, and hotdogs. Besides these patriotic paraphernalia, independence week had formed into another whirlwind experience.

Last week started in solitude. This story of seclusion began when I decided to take some time off and discover the wonders off… well… myself. People take being alone for granted. After living on the University for a year I can fully grasp the beauty that is being alone. On campus you are bombarded by thonged throngs of preppy girls and hordes of frat boys. Waking up with your roommate in the dorm, ((Sometimes staring at you…but that’s another, freaky, story.)) You head into the small academic world filled with people. They get in your path, on your way to class. They queue in mass bread lines, halting your need for food. They haunt you in every nook and cranny, spectral wraiths whom never leave you alone. Sure sure, living on campus did have its advantages, but the constant drone of people was defiantly not one such benefit.

This has lead to me savoring time by myself. Today for instance I woke up and got a shower. ((Side Note, I am a habitual showerer. I consider myself a huge environmentalist, mostly due to the early influence of Captain Planet. Although I am a nature freak, there is one area of conservation that I completely ignore, and that is water consumption. I honestly do not feel that taking long showers, which last on average one to three hours, harm the Earth Mother. The way I see it, Gaia would not disapprove of simply taking fresh water and continually pour it over my naked body. Now if I took buckets of chemical squander and poured it onto a body of water, then I would consider it waste, what I am doing is just rejuvenating myself in a baptism of refreshing water. Like the stereotypical Aquarius that I am. End Side Note.)) Like I said, I woke up and got into the shower.

There are a few major reasons that I moved out from the East coast. The main reason was my parents; the other was that the humidity made my hair fuzz into a poor rendition of a white man’s afro. In Atlanta, walking out of the house with wet hair would have left it moist for hours. In Tucson, I got out of my shower and went to the porch where I read a book. Within fifteen minutes the wetness was gone. ((Behold the powers of the desert.)) All the while, this morning, I was alone. I got breakfast, ate, and got into the shower alone. ((Except for Heather and Sam, (My Sunshine,) asleep on my futon after a long night of movie magic, (but more on this later.).))

Overall lately, schoolwork has been monotoneus, and has taken up a large portion of my week. For example I had a research critique due on Thursday. Therefore I blew it off and procrastinated as much as possible. Monday I planned on finding an article, instead I went on a cooking frenzy doubled with a video game escapade. Tuesday I planned on getting started on the paper, instead I wrote in my book and…stared at the wall. ((It amuses me to no end the measures that I will go to, just so I don’t have to do any work. Yes, I am a horrible procrastinator.)) Finally, Wednesday I HAD to do the essay which was due the next day, I was on a mission.

I set out all of the material that I needed next to my laptop, along with foodstuffs and making sure to take anything shinny was of the room. In the process of clearing the room of distracting objects I stupidly got bit by the cleaning bug. I went into Martha Mode. I grabbed my rubber gloves, hair ties, and apron to prepare to wage war with my filthy apartment. The grunge had an early advantage in the fight, bringing all sorts of weapons in its attempt to win this infamous vendetta. It looked like I was about to lose the conflict until I stooped to chemical warfare. I raided my chemical silo…underneath the sink, and fought hard to reclaim my apartment. I easily took a foothold in my dinning room, where I cleared the space and even hung triumphant paintings on the wall. From there I took the battle to my kitchen. This was a hard-pressed clash with both sides taking heavy losses, ((that’s right, I broke a nail…)) It wasn’t long before the area was spotless. This belligerent cycle continued until, room by room, victory was mine.

I took a step back, looking at the clean field of conflict, with a smug expression on my face. That faded when I saw my laptop still sitting there. I hit the palm of my hand to my forehead. It was already getting late and I had already planned to go to the new Hooka bar, downtown, with Mer, Tasha, and Heather. Right before I sat down to do the paper; I noticed the trash bags left over from the War of the Grunge. I grabbed them, planning to get started on my essay as soon as I got back. I ran out to the large garbage collector thingy, and threw my trash bags in. Right before I started back and begin my essay, I felt a sharp pain coming from my right foot. There at my bare feet was a scorpion.

This was not the first time that I have been assaulted by these arthropodic harborages of pain. The first time, a long time ago was when I still lived in El Paso. I was an accident prone child. ((No really…)) One of my largest conduits of my mishaps happened to be in the form of babysitters. You did NOT want to be my babysitter. Because, I was a bad kid???…well, yes… but in reality, just turn the TV on and I would sit in front of it for hours, with my mouth gapping like a hooked bass. The clincher was that bad things happened when I was being babysat.

It was a stormy night. I had just concluded a long marathon of I Love Lucy, and gotten hungry. While my babysitter started dinner she turned on the nightly news. Things were not well in El Paso because a serial killer was on the loose. He would kidnap people from their homes and cut them up, leaving them scattered in boxes around the city. I thought it was rad, and tried to gross out my babysitter with preadolescent stories about blood. She was this uptight Mormon whom was obviously disturbed with the serial murders. She told me not to speak of the murders again and she served the food. During dinner, the power went out. ((Which was fine by me because it halted my babysitter from professing the joys of Mormonism.)) Unfortunately we couldn’t find any matches or flashlights so we sat in my living room, which was only momentarily illuminated by the lightning outside. After an hour we heard a rasping at the front door. The Mormon jumped, and warily made her way to the front door. When she peered out no one was there. She came back into the living room and announced that it was time for bed. After some whining and bargaining she finally got me to agree to go to sleep. The two of us got to my bedroom, after blindly walking in the dark. When we opened the door to my room we heard another scrape on the door. This time the Mormon yelped. Once again she slowly made her way to the door. I sat on my bed looking at the lightning crashing over the mountains from my window, over my bed. ((I have always loved thunderstorms.)) My babysitter came back after finding that no one was at the door. I got dressed into my pajamas and she tucked me in. In the process of tucking in my sheets my babysitter looked up. There framed in the window was a dark shape of a man, lightning illuminated my babysitters face as she started shrieking and ran out of the room and straight out of the back door. It turns out that my parents had forgotten their keys and had tried to find another way in, but the Mormon had fortified the home from the serial murderer on the loose. I let my parents in, and we found my babysitter six blocks away… This was the last time that she ever babysat for me.

It was sort of sad because I had been through so much with this Mormon. The first time that she sat for me, was also my first week in my new El Paso home. Boxes lined as high as they would go. Our furniture was awkwardly placed and most of the knickknacks still had bubble wrap over them. Whenever my mom would empty a box I would commandeer it to create a cardboard fort. When my babysitter arrived I had just finished my faux-Camelot. I was the princess being imprisoned by the evil dragon. ((Sometimes I wonder why didn’t my parents to figure out that I was gay.)) The babysitter decided to turn my Camelot into a Mormon Church where we could sing praise to Joseph Smith, oh and Jesus too… I kinda got a bit bored after the second hour of this and decided to go play outside. I left the Mormon singing in my fort as I made my way to the garage. I was not three steps out the door when I saw a rattle snake under my mom’s SUV. It slithered around; its tale was not rattling and therefore was not threatened. I watched it, because I was a little boy and highly amused at anything. The snake eventually made its way out of the garage, I was upset. So, I pressed the garage door button so it would not get away. Unfortunately I have bad timing; because, doubly unfortunately the door closed on the snake; and, thirdly unfortunately the Mormon decided to come check on me at this moment. She walked into the garage and screamed as she saw half a snake thrashing about under the door. I have never seen a Mormon use a butcher knife better than when she went at that snake; with ferocity unmatched by the best of warriors. When she finally chopped the snake to death she turned to me and said, “Lets go pray…” and then she nodded with a blank expression on her face. I liked this babysitter.

Just because I liked her, though, did not mean that I was going to nice to her. At least once every time she sat for me, she tried to drill the doctrines of Mormonism in my head. I really could have cared less, but she refused to let me drink caffeine. This holy substance is one of the staples in my diet, I consider it up there with pickles and bagel bites. When she cut off my caffeine obsession, it was on. So I tied her up… literally. We were playing a game of cops and robbers, and I was a devious robber whom was internationally renowned. Well, during the game I managed to tie the Mormon up, then once the last knot was pulled I made a bee line for the caffeine. I took the six-pack of cokes and went to my room…forgetting to untie my babysitter. Unfortunately I also gagged her before making my way to the fridge, so I couldn’t hear her above the television in my room. My parents finally got home and unbound her.

Yes, this Mormon was defiantly a very nice footnote in my life. Because finally, one of the most memorable experiences with her was the night I watched Care Bears the Movie two. I was sitting alone in the den viewing the movie in the dark. During the climax of the movie I felt something on my leg, so I involuntarily swatted at it. I felt a sharp pain run through my leg and I got up to turn on the light. There, where I was sitting, was the now dead body of a scorpion. It turns out that I am allergic to scorpion stings and I felt it immediately. I yelled for my sitter, who screamed then called the hospital and her family, after beating the already dead scorpion with an iron sauce pan. I passed out in the ambulance, and woke up a few hours later, in my hospital bed, surrounded by Mormons…praying…. The doctors had saved my life, and the Mormon babysitter had brought her entire family to the hospital to save my soul, if my body was doomed…. Luckily, I survived. My sitter took responsibility for saving my life and my eternal soul…yes, she was a bit exocentric but I liked her.

That was my first experience with scorpions. My second was last Wednesday. Like I had said, I was talking the trash out, barefooted, ((I know I know, I’m an idiot…)) When a scorpion stung me. My first reaction was, “Oh crap,” followed by running to my apartment grabbing a flip flop and taking a page from my neurotic Mormon and whacked the heck out of that insect. I put it in some Tupperware and called the animal control and poison control people, it turns out that the scorpion that stung me was not overly venomous. But I am still allergic to it so I formed a high fever, couldn’t hold any food down, and soreness in every muscle on my body, ((Even muscles I didn’t know existed…)) I was bad, but not bad enough to go to the Hospital, this time I was larger so I wasn’t THAT close to death. Any case, I am not looking forward to meeting with any other scorpions anytime soon.

((By now my post has been long, well I agree. Heck, I am the one typing it. So far this post is four and a half pages on word. I am a horrible speller so therefore I conduct all of my preliminary post work in a format that has easy word check. So here I am, five pages, single spaced, twelve font, into this post. So far I have spent six days off and on writing it. Every time I start again something comes up, such as scorpions or friends wanting to hang out or have friend’s personal drama to deal with. Every interruption naturally has to be written… so this is the post that never ends. ))

The evil scorpion had made me quasi invalid for the later part of the week. I did manage to get well enough to have a movie day with Heather and My Sunshine. Each of us brought a movie to add to our communal film festival. My apartment, this summer has been transformed into a movie hall. This episode of film fantasy, last Friday, only supplemented this idea.

First off, Heather brought Sliding Doors; a movie about love, fate, and quirky British comedy. I adored this movie, which I saw for the first time that night. It got me thinking about fate. Now, just say for the example of this post, hypothetically speaking, I could see future. I am a huge critic of fate although; I have been rethinking my policy lately. Now does everything happen for a reason or not. Now say that I was walking down the street and unbeknownst to me there is a banana peel ahead. Then my spider sense kicks in, and I avoid the banana peel. Now what does that mean? Was I supposed to slip on the banana peel as a chance of fate? Or, was it destiny that I saw the banana peel before I stepped on it, therefore missing a bad fall? I’m not exactly sure, but all I know is that it makes my head hurt.

Second, it was my choice and my favorite movie, Rear Window, by Alfred Hitchcock. This movie is filled with suspense, gender issues, and of course a dysfunctional love. One of the largest themes in this movie is Voyeurism. Surprise Surprise, considering that I am in love with Big Brother, which premiers tonight. Yes, in after today I will disappear off the face of the earth and begin living in BB hibernation. This season is shaping up to be one of the best, with a dynamic cast of characters. Yes, I am a dork, and a scary one at that.

Thirdly, Sam brought Cannibal the Musical. This musical escapade about Mormons, the old west, and of course people eating each other … wow. My brain REALLY hurt. I still have not forgiven My Sunshine for bringing that movie. It was one of a kind, by the makers of South Park. Like I said, I still have not forgiven My Sunshine, *wink.*

After the movies the weekend went straight into Rocky mode. It was Psycho Beach Party night at the Loft. Jolly Good, considering that I eat up this move, ((which is the motivation behind a majority of my LARP characters.)) One again, ((code time)) I am upset with the fundamentals about someone. There are two types of flaws, character and personality flaws. Personality flaws are understandable and are reactions to situations and are usually constant for people. These are also the types that are the most metamorphic in people. The second and more vexing is character flaws which are deep rooted within the person and are the most difficult to deal with. I am in pain, with the prospects of a second in a line of successive people with overbearing character flaws. Moral dilemmas suck. But the fortunate thing is that because it is moral it is rather one sided.

After Rocky, I went to Denny’s with some people. Here I got my first introduction with Matt whom in Beth’s ex. There seems to be a rekindling among the two of them. I rarely approve of relationships and it takes a lot to make my list. So far, only two couples in Tucson have fit my list. Beth and Matt have made it three. This analysis comes from all forms of my own observations and perceptive hunches.

The next day I got invited to a Fourth of July pool party, thrown by Matt. This pool party was odd. Instead of talking around the pool, we hung around a forge. While guys were metal working… I had a blast. The party DID eventually make its way to the pool, and the hot tub. We were on the far north of town so we got a wonderful view of the jubilant fireworks above Tucson…A very beautiful sight indeed.

Yes, in retrospect life is good. I am fully enjoying life at the moment. Although I may be having one issue right now, for the most part my life is flowing smooth. I likey a loty. I am having a great week. Getting the fullness out of everyday, both alone and in groups. Got a possibility for a relationship, which went bust but I had fun in the process. Get to start Big Brother VERY soon. And, I get to go to L.A. next Monday, which I will be posting on soon. Yes, I love life, and here’s to life loving me.

Much more happened in the past week that I am not writing about simply because I am a lazy son of a monkey. Therefore I am signing off, with a friendly smile and hands tired of typing… Have a great day yall.

P.S. I have a new crush and his name is Will

The moral of the story is,
Why wait when you can do